A Phenomenal look At The Life-Changing Power Of God...
I started typing out my testimony yesterday, and realized it would be so long, nobody would live long enough to read it, lol. So here is the condensed version (hopefully).
My mom believed in God but was not a Christian. Daddy was an atheist, but a "good" man. I "learned" in school that Daddy was right, and that there was no such thing as God, and that people who still believed in Him were uneducated. I was fully convinced that you live, die, are buried, and cease to exist.
I was always a good kid growing up, made perfect grades, and was always the teacher's pet. Until I turned 14. Then I started rebelling against everything there was to rebel against, because I honestly believed that all humans were just like animals, and no one had any real authority over another, and therefore, no one should be able to tell anyone else how to live, as long as you didn't "hurt" anybody else. I hated everyone and everything that got in the way of what I wanted to do. I had the filthiest mouth you can imagine, and a temper that was so bad that the only thing that kept me from killing certain people was that I didn't want to go to prison.
That age was also my first experience with sex. For the next 13 years, I was very promiscuous, had sex with so many guys, I can't even count them. Didn't even know all of them. Hung out in dance clubs and with "friends" who did drugs and drank. I drank, but never got drunk or even tried drugs. Wasn't ever pressured to do so either. (This was definitely God's protection!) I got pregnant and had an abortion when I was 19. I read everything I could find on witchcraft while I was a teen, and even "prayed" to the devil, with no results (again, God's protective hand). I never got any diseases, even though I never worried about "protection" from such things, was never mistreated, beaten, killed (obviously). It just amazes me to look back and realize that even though I was not saved, God was protecting me. He knew I was His, even thought I didn't know it yet.
I got pregnant again when I was 27. Then I was in a bar one night and met my husband and started dating him. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes because, for whatever reason, I wanted to be married and have kids and knew I needed to get started. He was from a family my family had known all their lives, even though I didn't know them, and I knew they were "good, respectable" people. (As a matter of fact, my husband's grandad was a preacher.) My husband was not saved at the time either, but we were married 3 months after we met. He knew I was pregnant, and was willing to tell everyone the baby was his and raise it as his own, but would support whatever choice I made. I just wanted this baby out of the way because I couldn't stand his father, and wanted to have a baby by my husband. My mom went with me and I had another abortion. (Just a side note, I hate abortion now, and would never consider such a thing now. But when you think of human life on the same level as animals, it doesn't matter.)
Shortly after, I became pregnant with my first daughter. I fell in love with her immediately, and somehow, through that, God revealed Himself to me...that He was real, and that life had no purpose or meaning without Him. (Gave real meaning to that scripture that says women shall be saved through childbirth, even though I don't believe that is really what it means!) I started church, and met Christ and was saved. Of course, I had a lot of learning to do. And He has taught me much since then! Four years later I had my youngest daughter. I was blessed with two perfectly healthy children. Another sign of God's plan for my life.
I was one of those who had it easy. God just miraculously took away my temper, my nasty language, my sinful desires, my lust for worldly things. They just disappeared! I did struggle with resentment toward my husband, mostly just for little irritating stuff. Until God taught me that I was the one who needed to change. I had to be what He wanted me to be, regardless of what everyone else did or didn't do. And I had to love, whether I felt like it or not. This could be another whole story in itself though, lol.
Although I know I was saved all that time, it wasn't until about two years ago that something happened. I am not exactly sure what or how, but I fell totally and completely in love with Jesus, and that changed so many things in my life. I realized that my life was for His glory, and His alone, and that after all He had done for me, the only thing I had to give Him was my life. And that is what I did. It was at that point that I received that awesome peace, that cannot be moved or changed by anything. And the ability to accept whatever happens, knowing He has me in His hands and I have nothing to ever worry about. Also, I had epilepsy and allergies (the drippy nose, sneezy, itchy eyes kind) all my life, as long as I can remember. I was completely healed of both of these things within the same month. It was October of 2003. I haven't taken epilepsy medicine since then, nor have I had any seizures, and I no longer have allergies, praise the Lord! I have been blessed in so many ways, I can't count them all. My sister, my husband, my mom-in-law and dad-in-law, have all been saved in these past couple years. My mom is well on her way as well!
Boy, so much for "condensed." Anyway, I just wanted to share this to show God's awesome love and power and faithfulness!! He kept me and protected me from myself all those years, and like I said elsewhere, I have no scars. I am totally disconnected from my past. The only things I have kept are any lessons I may have learned. The rest is like I am remembering someone else. I am someone else! And all because of my WONDERFUL, AWESOME, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, FAITHFUL, GOOD, KIND, LOVING , ALL POWERFUL, FORGIVING, RESTORING, SAVIOUR, JESUS CHRIST!!! I love Him with all that I am and all that I have, and live only to please Him, and to reach the day when I will see Him face to face!